


Wait

by monaboyd_archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, Post-Filming Lord of the Rings (Movies), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-12
Updated: 2005-08-12
Packaged: 2018-07-28 11:26:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7638241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monaboyd_archivist/pseuds/monaboyd_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dom waits to see if Billy will ever wake up after a car accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wait

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Shirasade: this story was originally archived at the Monaboyd.net Archive, which was closed in September 2014 due to software issues and a lack of new submissions for several years. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2014. I e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the Monaboyd.net Archive collection profile.

Dom’s fingers trembled as he sat in the white room; everything was so white and there was no life. And Billy was there, lying unconscious. Billy had been coming to see him, the rain had been pouring down, and as far as Dom knew, the car had gone out of control when Billy tried to brake for a red light. It had spun out and slammed first into a mini-van and then flipped before hitting a nearby pole and landing in a ditch.

The amazing thing was that Billy had no major physical injuries. He had a sprained wrist and cut on the side of his face, but he’d been in a coma for three days. He’d hit his head hard on the steering wheel and they didn’t know if he’d have brain damage.  
And now, Dom was here and staring at someone that he loved deeper than anything before and he’d only realized it now. He reached over and took Billy’s hand, trying to understand how this could have happened.

He knew it was only a fact of life that it happened, but he still couldn’t fathom it. It was Billy and it couldn’t happen because he needed Billy with him; he couldn’t lose someone so close to him. He couldn’t lose Billy and he didn’t know how to believe that this had happened. But it had. And he couldn’t smile at Billy, seeing his beautiful looks, because his eyes were closed for forever maybe, those lips would never laugh or curve into a grin, and the fingers that he was holding would never touch Dom again.

He only wished he’d realized how much he loved Billy before this.

_I'll sing it one last time for you, then we really have to go, you've been the only thing that's right, in all I've done_

Dom took in a deep breath to try to keep control, because his hand was trembling and he couldn’t do this anymore, pretend to be okay. He felt like he was going to be sick because his mind as racing with a million thoughts at once, and each time he looked at Billy’s pale face, the slow breathing, saw the eyes that had been closed for far too long. That had been for the last few days. It was still too long.

Dom was still waiting the next day.

~~~

_And I can barely look at you, but every single time I do, I know we'll make it anywhere, away from here_

He’d gone home to shower and change, but that was it. He’d bought a pop tart and granola bar from the hospital, managed to eat it, and watched all around him as he did. People were walking around, visiting their loved ones, but he knew that nobody at that moment was feeling what he felt.

There were people who were heartbroken and had probably lost the one they loved, and there were people who had just found out that those who they loved were going to live. There were people just visiting someone with a broken leg or recovering from back surgery. But none of them loved Billy like Dom did. None of them could know how scared he was at the thought of losing Billy. He didn’t care if Billy had brain damage or could never walk again or if he came out of it fine. He just wanted Billy to come out of it. He’d called Orlando and Elijah, left messages and figured they would tell the rest of the cast, and returned to Billy’s side, where he was now sitting, yet again.

_Light up, light up, as if you have a choice, even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you, dear_

He whispered to Billy how much he loved him, begged him to please come back, and continued to struggle to hold himself together. His lips trembled a little as they brushed over Billy’s ear, his fingers squeezing the bedsheets instead of Billy’s fingers, and his voice hitched a little. And he didn’t realize how long it had been until he felt someone touch his shoulder, heard Orlando’s voice, and turned to be held by Orlando before Dom could hold him. Dom shook his head.

Orlando pulled away after a few minutes, wiping his eyes, and Dom took in a long breath, his own eyes still dry. He couldn’t cry for Billy, because he had to have faith that Billy would come back. Orlando looked at Billy, touched the bandages covering the wound, and looked at Dom for explanation.

_Louder, louder, and we'll run for our lives, I can hardly speak, I understand, why you can't raise your voice to say_

Dom described what had happened as best as he could. When Elijah arrived an hour later, he had to explain it again and when he felt the lump in his throat rise, he paused and looked at Billy, clenching his fists. Elijah touched his shoulder and Dom let him, but he was ready to scream and pull away. He was Dom, he was supposed to be the funny one, laughing and pulling jokes on everyone, and he couldn’t do that. But he couldn’t be held or comforted because it wouldn’t comfort him. Nothing could comfort him right now except for Billy.

Orlando and Elijah stayed for the rest of the day, leaving Dom with a last hug and a promise to be back soon. Dom nodded understandingly and thanked them for being there. When he returned to Billy, he saw the tubes that were in his arms and his breathing became fast and hard, his stomach clenching on him again. He realized dimly that he was hungry again, which didn’t surprise him, seeing as it had been twelve hours since the pop tarts. He went home for the night, praying that he would hear from a nurse or anyone telling him that Billy was awake.

He paused before he left the room, glancing at Billy.

_To think I might not see those eyes makes it so hard not to cry, and as we say our long goodbye I nearly do_

He felt it even stronger than ever, the tears rising to his eyes before he could fight them away, but he didn’t let them fall. He bit his lip hard enough to take in a deep breath and swiped at the dampness. He ran his fingers through his hair, returned to Billy and pressed his lips against eyelids that had been closed for two days now.

~~~

He was driving home when it began to rain. It was the kind of rain that was light and left the smell of clean in the air. But as Dom pulled up to his house and stepped out, it was enough to make his stomach tighten. He was in his kitchen, looking at a picture of him and Billy together, hoping to assuage his pain, but finding it only worsening.

_Light up..._

He didn’t remember eating dinner, but the dirty dishes in the sink the next morning assured him he had. He also didn’t remember showering, but the still half-damp towel lying on the floor next to his bed confirmed that. He dressed and managed to eat something, and then set about trying to pick up his house a little bit. Anything to keep him busy. Anything to keep him from thinking about Billy the entire time, not that such would happen. His mind was racing with thoughts and memories of Billy, full of fear and trembling uncertainty that life would never be right again without him.

By four in the afternoon, he couldn’t take it anymore. He went back to the hospital and was told that Billy had woken up for about ten minutes. He hadn’t even seemed to be very conscious, unfocused, and Dom didn’t know what to take that as. And so he returned to Billy’s side, holding on to the hand gently, stroking over the skin, whispering again. He told Billy what he wanted to do when he woke up, where he was going to take them, and that if Billy would let him, how he wanted to love him forever.

_Slower, slower, we don't have time for that, all I want is to find an easier way to get out of our little heads_

The rest of the day passed, Orlando coming back for a little bit but not staying very long. He asked how Dom was holding up and Dom answered with a nod and a general reply that was a falsity, because telling the truth meant that he wouldn’t be able to keep on holding up. Orlando left him alone soon after that and a nurse informed him that Elijah had been there earlier, but had left before he woke up.

He wished that he’d been there when Billy woke up, and that even if he hadn’t been, that Elijah had been so that Billy had someone he knew with him. He wondered how a simple trip could have made his life so shattered all of a sudden. And he sat there, watching the monitor beep and the lighting cast shadows at horrible angles.

_Have heart, my dear, we're bound to be afraid, even if it's just for a few days, making up for all this mess_

He didn’t leave Billy’s side that night, or the next one, and he finally went home to change and shower, finding that he had plenty of messages but he didn’t bother checking them. He noted in the mirror how completely changed he looked. His eyes looked worn and his face lined, as if he’d aged ten years over the last few days.

Billy couldn’t die. He was too young. He had too much in his life to die. He had Dom and their movie and everything. And Dom needed him.

He was back at the hospital when the beeping suddenly picked up pace a little. He raised his head from where he’d been staring at Billy’s hand and looked at the monitor and then at Billy.

_Light up, light up, as if you have a choice, even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear_

Billy’s eyes fluttered and his fingers twitched slightly. Dom’s breath caught again and he ran for the door, calling for someone to come. He wanted to stay but they told him that he had to leave and so he went home to wait with a nurse’s promise to call him the next day and tell him how Billy was doing.

~~~

The rest of the day and night were hell for Dom and by morning, he was a wreck. But the call came, Billy was still awake, and he was fine. Considering the damage that had occurred to both cars and what he’d gone through, it was amazing that he wasn’t hurt worse, and Dom had heard it all before. And then she told him gently that Billy had no brain damage. He would recover fast enough and Dom could come see him if he liked.

When he hung up the phone, Dom was still for a few minutes, letting it sink into his brain. By the time he arrived at the hospital, he was walking as fast as he could without running to get to the room.

He opened the door, saw the now familiar white walls and lights and chairs. And he looked at Billy. His eyes were closed but when Dom said his name, they fluttered and opened.

”Hey.” Billy said, his voice breathy and barely more than a whisper. But it was one of the most wonderful things that Dom had ever heard and he stepped forward before carefully cradling Billy in his arms and feeling Billy wrap his own arms around Dom’s back.

And it came. His tears came out and poured down his cheeks, soaking Billy’s neck and shoulder, Billy holding him the entire time. Dom managed to say in between sobs how scared he’d been and trembled. When he managed to gain control over himself, he lifted his head.

”You look a wreck.” Billy said after a moment. “You missed a spot shaving.” He tapped Dom’s chin. Dom looked at Billy and then let out a shaky laugh.

”Wanker. You scare the piss out of me and then the first thing you say to me after I cry on your shoulder is ‘You look a wreck’?” But he was smiling. “Wanker. Bloody wanker, I mean it.”

Billy smiled back at him. “I’m sorry, Dom. I won’t do it again.”

Dom shook his head. “Say whatever you want, as long as you’re talking and talking to me. I’m not planning on leaving you anytime soon, and that’s after we get out of this hospital.”

Billy looked at him. “Hm?”

”I love you, Billy. Of course I’m too daft to realize it until this happened, but it happened and I realized it. I love you. And I hope that you feel the same. And you’re never allowed to get in this situation again because you almost killed me too.” Dom tried to cover up for his emotional outburst with a light smile but he couldn’t hold it. “Billy.” He whispered.

”Dommie.” Billy leaned forward and took his hand. “You are daft, aren’t you? I love you too. I thought you’d never see that I loved you. And don’t worry about me getting into this situation again. I want to be with you for a long time and this is not a good way to ensure that.”

Dom began to laugh again, Billy joining him, and Dom finally took Billy’s hand again and squeezed the fingers, saw the beautiful eyes that sparkled, and kissed Billy. He had a lifetime to kiss and touch but he didn’t want this to end.


End file.
